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In Hindsight

 I thought I was okay but— [I thought I had tricked myself into thinking I was over you, Because you belittled my feelings when I was upset, alienated me from my friends, and would dismiss my opinions with your own. But I was still learning how to actually talk about my feelings, Learning what I actually wanted from life, And would constantly push myself away from everyone in the real world when my blue feelings would take hold. I started to realize this but I didn’t know how to fix it until more recently, But time had started to fall away from me, I was burnt out and wore myself thin. I would say to myself that I would make plans with you on Friday, But then suddenly it would be the following Tuesday. My friends would have been pissed about that, Not for anything I said to them, But for your behavior before the breakup, Constantly calling and texting me while I was with them, Even though you knew I was with them. But you were better about that once we were in th
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A Continued Balance

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See this? This is the line. The line between Then and now, Down and up. The line of balance I constantly walk. But I keep getting tripped up. I'm just a clumsy tightrope walker Hoping the net will catch me in time. See this line? I walk it And you You thinking I'm amazing- Oh look at her, so responsible So calm Reliable Sweet- Until I go tumbling off the edge Then it's all- Why do you obsess Worry Stress Overthink Why why why- Why. Because that moment when I tumble through the air Before my skin strikes net, I am flying. I am the perfect movie heroine, The graceful, mysterious woman, The adventurous, delicious thing That enamors you. I am self-realized, I can see with these Real eyes. And sure- Maybe I didn't so much as fall As throw myself off With full reckless abandon Like I was sliding into home plate for the tie breaker during that final inning, Not giving a thought about the pain and humiliation the plate-   the downer-   the net will bring Cause, hey, at least I
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Things to do when you're down:

-build a super blanket fortress -watch Classic movies -blast some punk rock and/or swing music -take a nap -try a new recipe -go for a run -draw -lose yourself in a good book -go to the movies -go shoot something (airsoft) - go shopping (if you can afford it) -grab a camera and take photos around the city -eat pancakes! -character coordinate your outfit for the day and try to exude that character (ex: Laura croft style: exude badassery and confidence) -read comic books -write a story -lay in bed with music and put yourself into your favorite book or movie -do some squats and imagine how awesome your butt will look eventually -research a topic you find interesting online (and "accidentally" stumble upon five subtopics) -play video games (humblebundle.com if you have a computer and a limited budget) -go for a walk and explore your area; find something new -eat an avocado
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Weighed Down

Layers of doubt begin to form a thick film on your mind, And friends are too caught up in their own time, Your energy feels like it's being pulled by the day-to-day monotomy of existing, And your mind spins thoughts round and round until every negative scenario has you listening, But in these times, When you feel both the weight of the world on your shoulders, Yet still so insignificant that you could just float up to the sky and disappear into nothingness, Remember: you are never alone. There is a poem, a song, an article, a Facebook post, a whisper, and a yell: Proving that you are not the only one. So we do our best to keep that in mind, And just keep making time.
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Bitter/sweet by TiffanyRose Kennedy

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I have never been any good at transferring my happiness into poetic verse, The sad words, and tortured tongues come easily, But trying to explain sweetness has always been a bit more complex for me. Perhaps it's fitting then, That this poem is not about sweetness, but rather the bittersweet. More specifically the bittersweetness of having these feelings I'm not allowed- supposed to- want--- These feelings that are not mine to have. They say that the sum of the whole is greater than that of its parts, And that's something I have always believed in, Because that's how I think of all the little things that pull me towards you, they seem too regular- silly- simple- to have such a strong gravitational force. Like the way you have such impeccable fashion sense for a guy, not too absorbed, but just enough, Or the way you aren't afraid to be yourself, a bit quirky and weird, but still slightly self conscious about it, Or the way you'd never actually admit to being self
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Sometimes Say Never

I began to grow cautious of your existence, When I realized that for me, It might be more of a poison than a bitter medicine, I thought perhaps you would teach me how to grow stronger, To accept what I could not change, But it seems acceptance is not in my nature. And it is not your fault that I am this way, You've given me honesty, and friendship, and shown me your flaws, You try your hardest to make sure I have no expectations of you, But I'm also expectant- Its who I am. All these hopes that I have, sitting on the precipice of my mind, That I continually try to choke back.  Because I know the way I'm feeling makes no sense, That this- this course that I wish my life would take is not an option, Not even a possibility. Yet I just can't seem to find the strength to remove you from my heart. And I don't want to have to take drastic measures and cut you out of it, Because as a person I really enjoy having you around, I may be attracted to you,
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